Frustrations & Prayers

I feel sad and hurt by the deception and emptiness seeping from my husband's biological family. This year has been especially painful in our family experience.



For me, I am thankful to have grown up in a strong family unit. My parents each took responsibility for teaching us about life, free will, family history, faith. I never realized how very important all of these things were to developing me and my siblings into the strong moral consciences we are today.



I shared with Dylan that as a child I so badly wanted to be a "normal" American. I wanted to "fit in" and have the freedoms I observed in my peers. There is hardly anything I am more thankful for now than not being "normal" and being raised with strong faith and values.



As an adult, I am thankful for every time my parents said "no", even when it seemed irrational. I am thankful for every time they gave me a little bit more responsibility than my peers even when it was not "fun". As parents, we are called to love and to discipline our children. Our parents' choices do not always make sense to us, but life doesn't always make sense either. God's choices certainly do not always make sense to us. I love "Fiddler on the Roof" when Tevye says, "Dear God, I know we are the chosen people. But ONCE IN A WHILE, could you choose someone else?" I think we all feel that way sometimes. It would be easier to not be CHOSEN to make the tough decisions.
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I would like to return to the subject of filial obligations. I honor my parents, and I adore my siblings. I cannot possibly imagine living in a world in which my siblings refused to talk to me without reason. From a young age, my parents taught us to take care of each other. As a parent, I respect and hold that lesson dear to me. After our parents are gone, just as after Dylan and I pass on, all our children really have is each other.



Friends may come and friends may go, but we always have each other.



I hurt for my husband that he does not have a loving family experience, no matter how hard he has tried and no matter how much of himself he has lovingly given to them. It is tough to know what to do and how to continue to be good Christians AND protect our children at the simultaneously.



In my sorrow, I understand more than ever the importance of teaching family values. I feel fortunate and balanced that I have a masculine father (with a backbone) and a femenine mother (with empathy). I believe firmly that the ideal way to raise a child is by one father and one mother. More important than financial resources is LOVE, understanding, and committment.



I have learned also a lot through experience about what values and education are most important for me to teach my children. It would be nice to afford music lessons, sports, tutors, and everything else, but above all, I want my children to be moral beings. I want them to be leaders, and I want them to do what is right, even when it does not reap pleasurable consequences. I want them to stick up to what is wrong, even when it causes earthly pain. I want my children to be mindful, empathetic and loving. I want them to love and honor other human beings, even when it is inconvenient.

I humbly ask for your prayers that Dylan and I will do the right thing, even when it hurts and even when we are in pain. I ask also for prayers for my in-laws. They are constantly looking for happiness in every place but where God and true love are present.